Wide-Ruled Paper

I feel so little writing on
wide-ruled paper,
because it makes me forget how
old I've gotten,
like I'm just learning how to scrawl between
over-sized lines,
funny, they're starting to look smaller.

Now I'm going back to using
colorful crayons,
or maybe my hands are covered in
finger paint,
regardless, I'm not using a
No. 2 Pencil,
or if I am you can be sure I'm unaware of it.

You know, time travel doesn't always require
a time machine,
I'm not going faster than
the speed of light,
I can just sit in a chair and scribble
on wide-ruled paper,
or color with markers outside the lines.

I wouldn't go back in time to
change anything,
I'm strong enough to live with
my own mistakes,
but changing and reliving the past
are two different things,
and just reliving it makes boring science fiction.

But so what if no one else cares about
my memories,
and so what if my memory might have
tweaked events,
I'm just learning how to scrawl between
over-sized lines,
funny, they're starting to look smaller...

My Box

NEW POST
^ ya, I know, right? Haven't done one of these in a WHILE. I could make various excuses, but the truth is I just haven't felt like typing stuff up. I have written things, but most are...how you say...crap. here's something that I don't think is crap.

Fear.
Anger.
Insecurity.
Claustrophobia creeping through my veins,
Didn't know I had claustrophobia...
These walls, this box, only I can see it.
I built it myself,
with no help
from anyone...
No one else to blame.
It only took 15 years. Do you like it?
That side is fear.
It traps me, keeps me thinking I'm
comfortable enough where I am,
more comfortable than I would be out there-
out of my box,
where I can see no comfort,
because my wall of fear is in my way...
The one across from it is anger.
Anger shuts the sunlight out, keeps me in the dark.
Isolates me.
Makes me believe I want to be isolated.
Fools me into believing that I'm elevated.
Behind me is Insecurity.
Oh, it's also in front.
Can't move backward because of expectations,
can't move forward because 'average' has limitations,
and we all want to be average right? Normal...
So what's keeping me from climbing over these walls, overcoming,
abandoning insecurity, anger, fear, and just running?
Well, I'll tell you,
there's a heavy cover on top of my box that keeps me here,
One I just can't lift.
Many call it ignorance.
I call it a ton because its weight on my shoulders is
roughly that of 2,000 pounds...
But hope is not quite entirely lost,
I hear there's a key somewhere,
legend has it, to my box.
Goes by the name of
Knowledge. Experience. Awareness.
Something like that, I don't know.
I hear it's beautiful, fits any lock,
could free anyone and everyone all at once.
I would look for it, i would, we all would, I know it.
Trouble is we're all trapped inside our own box.